THE ADVENTURES OF TOLU (T.A.O.T)
When she asked me the question, my heart almost jumped out of my chest. I really could not say it. I was so scared. I had planned initially that I was going to express my feelings for her, but I was very scared and very shy…
Me: Nothing at all! Nothing!
Oyinade: Are you sure? You don’t look like you’ve poured out your heart.
Me: My heart?
Oyinade: Yes! Your heart.
Me: Actually, there is something in my heart that I still haven’t told you.
Oyinade: I knew it. So, start talking now.
Me: Actually, (scratching my head)
Oyinade: (interrupted) You can tell me anything. Just talk.
Me: The truth is that I’ve always had feelings for you since we’ve been in secondary school. But then, I had family problems which didn’t really make me consider giving direction to my feelings. Now that my life is getting stable, I just have to tell you everything now. I really care about you. You are really dear to my heart. I appreciate our friendship, in fact, our friendship is good. But I want to be more than just friends with the only girl that I really love.
Oyinade: Wow! This is such a surprise.
Me: Yes, but I need you to say something.
Oyinade: I don’t have anything to say.
Me: What do you mean?
Oyinade: Tolu (looked straight into my eyes) I really like you, infact I adore you and really care about you. But just as a friend. I don’t think I have any feelings for you.
Me: You don’t love me?
Oyinade: I won’t want to lie to you. I care about you and would not want to deceive you. I like you just as a friend. There are no strings attached.
Me: (In a very low tone) Then, since you do not feel the same way. There is nothing I can do. Thank you for being sincere. Thank you for listening. (I stood up to leave)
Oyinade: Tolu! (Stood up as if she was going to say something good) I’m sorry if I hurt you, but don’t let this get in between us. I really cherish our friendship. Are we cool?
Me: Yes! Absolutely! I’m going to see you around.
Oyinade: Alright, please take care of yourself….
I felt very heavy and sad. As I headed for my hostel and Oyinade went to hers. Oyinade was the only girl that I really like. She just turned me down totally. I got to my hostel, heart broken and torn apart. Something very terrible had just happened to me. The first time that I knew I was in love for real, it was just one sided. I started feeling very useless and unlovable. I started regretting pouring out my heart to Oyinade in the first place. Feranmi and Demilade saw me and asked me what my problem was. I narrated everything to them. Because a problem shared, they say, is half solved…
Feranmi: So, what would you do now?
Me: Of course nothing. I just love someone who doesn’t love me in return. It’s my cross, I have to bear it. I’m just trying to forget the whole thing.
Demilade: Tolu, please forget all that. Love is just an imaginary thing. Love is just someone’s concept. It doesn’t exist in real life. Don’t let those things you see in movies get into your head. Love is nothing but a fantasy
Feranmi: Demilade, why are you like this now? The fact that you haven’t been in love before doesn’t mean love doesn’t exist.
Demilade: Those are things he needs to hear now.
Feranmi: Tolu, all I can say is that you should forget about her. You will definitely find another girl that you really like. And likes you too. Just forget the whole thing you have for her and move on. You can’t afford to let your feelings get the best of you. You are in Engineering. You know how demnading your faculty is. Just focus and be the best you can be.
Me: Thanks! I really appreciate you guys. You guys are the best roomates anyone can possibly have. I’m totally fine now. Thanks for your kind words.
The words that Demilade and Feranmi spoke, though they were seing things from different perspectives. They really helped me. I decided not to have anything to do with any girl again in the university. I decided to marry my books and be more devoted to serving God. Not even Desola will be able to toy with my emotions…
TO BE CONTINUED…