Not every man is emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship. Real, genuine, healthy relationships are built on mutual trust and respect, as well as the ability and desire to communicate about your issues — all things that an emotionally immature partner might struggle with. Of course, no one is perfect, but if you want your relationship to succeed, it’s important that you’re in touch with your emotions, and mature enough to acknowledge what you might need to improve on to become a better partner.
“Emotional immaturity can reflect a lack of depth and understanding about one’s own emotions, inability to communicate and process things related to the relationship, as well as lack of empathy and ability to understand your partner’s emotional experiences,” Samantha Burns, couples counselor and dating coach at Love Successfully, tells Bustle.
It’s tempting to dismiss any of your partner’s bad relationship habits as just another of their “quirks,” but having an emotionally immature partner isn’t something you should sweep under the rug — because it can have a seriously detrimental effect on your relationship.
“Having an emotionally immature partner can impact the overall health of your relationship,” Burns says. “Often times these partners have a ‘me’ factor over a ‘we’ factor, so they can come off as selfish or unable to take your feelings into account. When there’s conflict, an emotionally immature partner may blow up or blame, rather than be able to process how his or her actions contributed to the issue. It may be difficult to have a calm, effective communication when talking about anything of substance.”
Everyone matures at their own pace, and it’s OK to admit that you have some work to do — but sometimes you’re better off flying solo and working on yourself before getting into a relationship/marriage.
Here are 6 signs of emotional immaturity to look out for in a partner (or even in yourself).
- Rejecting food when there’s an issue.
- Telling your wife severally that you are the head
- Issuing threats
- Reporting your wife to friends and family
- Keeping malice
- Not helping with house chores
- Doesn’t like to compromise
- Rejecting food when there’s an issue:
Mr husband, you gave your wife money for
food and after it was prepared you refused
to eat because you are angry. It’s one of the greatest signs of immaturity, it’s time to grow up! You should not even abandon your home for any reason. You could go somewhere when angry but ensure that you don’t allow it to linger unnecessarily because that is enough for the devil to build on even though some women can be really troublesome.
- Telling your wife severally that you are the head:
May I let you know that even when your wife disobeys/ disrespect you she still knows that you are the head. You need not shout or scream it daily. Or do we need to get you a slot on CNN? It’s important for you to know when and how to be firm and put your feet down over issues, however don’t become a nagging husband just to prove that you are the head.
- Issuing threats:
beating, verbally abusing
your wife, issuing threats of divorce or
bragging about marrying another wife does
not make you a man. An EMPTY barrel makes the loudest noise. Your strength is in your ability to tame your tongue and control your fist. When she is acting her “childish woman” part, play the “matured man.”
- Reporting your wife to friends and family:
When your wife offends you, correct
and talk things through. You don’t have to tell everyone about her mistakes, that will paint her black and sell her cheap such that you will not be able to redeem her back.
By the way, are you a reporter answer my question ?
- Keeping malice:
is it not funny to know that some men keep malice? Some of them even nag, criticise, abuse and call their wives names in public. It may make you look like a “big boy” who’s in control but you are not going to gain anything good from it, your home will only be a den of insults and confrontations.
- Not helping with house chores:
I must say here that it is the sole responsibility of a woman to tend and manage a home.
However, it’s not a bad thing if a man lends a helping hand when necessary. Watching football with newspaper in your hand every evening, not caring how stressful the house chores are will only increase the pressure on your wife and if you truly care you’ll help, just checking on her while busy could encourage and sooth her, this also makes you a good example to the kids especially the boys.
Some men don’t even say “thank You” to their wives after eating, all they do is compare her with other women. It’s a shame that after having 3-4 kids SOME men cannot change a simple diaper OR prepare cereal meals; a big shame.
- Doesn’t like to compromise:
I don’t think there’s anything less sexy in a partner than an inability to compromise. Being able to communicate your needs and find a middle-ground when an issue arises is crucial for a relationship’s success, and if your partner would rather throw a tantrum than let you get your way, that’s a big problem.
“Emotionally immature partners always have to have things their way,”
WHAT IS THE REAL MESSAGE HERE?
A real man is a pillar of support to his wife, not a hole of depression.