I woke up on Sunday morning all smiles. I had iron my well starched suit and trousers yesterday. I checked the time and it was still some minutes after 5am. I swept my room, then proceeded to cook rice and chicken stew.
I ate so well like it was my last meal on earth. I cleared my plate, wen to bath and returned to my room to get dressed. I sprayed the new perfume I got yesteerday in every part of my body. I started singing a popular Christain song with joy:
This is the day that the Lord as made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
Oh this is the day
Another day that the Lord has made
God punish devil! How will I not rejoice when Mercy was going to hook me up with one of the hottest chick I have seen in recent memory. The thought of finally being friends with my one month old crush felt like a visa to Planet Mars for me.
I went to my box to bring out my Bible which havent seen the light of the day for months. I dusted it with cloth because Vivian must not see me with such a badly kept Bible. I took my phone, came out of my room and lock my doors. My neighbours looked at me in surprise because they have never seen me wake up this early on Sunday, talk less of going to church.
Wale: Mr. Ele (he screamed with surprises all over his face)
Me: Calvary greetings to you my brother (smiling sheepishly)
Wale: This is not the Ele I know. Everybody come and see, Ele the great atheist is going to church
(my compound mates started trouping out)
Sandra: Ewooo… my Ele must have been possessed
Rhoda: I think he must have met Jesus on his way to Damascus
Segun: Na babe Ele dey go meet for such juur
All my compound mates seems to have various reasons of their own for my strange behaviour but I just smiled on throughout amd didn’t care.
Me: Bethrens, I will see you after church, I don’t want to go late
They opened their mouths in awe as I walked passed them singing:
Satan commot for road o, I be Holy Ghost fire
I no get break o, I be Holy Ghost fire
Jesus na bigi man
Jesus na bigi man
Who no one colour small boy
Satan na smallie man, satan na smallie man
E go burn forever for hell fire
I arrived at church some minutes after 8am and met them praying. Prayer was the one thing I detest the most. I had no choice but to join them. I looked around to locate either Mercy or Vivian but couldn’t locate any. By 9am, the pastor was through with the prayers after much emdurance from me. It was time for Bible studies. The topic was about indiscriminate sex among youths today. Oh this was one of my favourite topic and it was to be taken by a very pretty sister. I sat back to enjoy.