Samuel Otigba a popular tweep narrates his ordeal on how he fell in love with a bad bitch with the hopes of converting her to a 1000 yards Christian wife material but things did not go as planned. Enjoy!
I fell in love with a bad bitch once, as a church boy, I sharply tried to win her over to Jesus, but by the time she was done, na me dem convert. I’ll wake up every morning, look up to heaven, sigh & resume constant 24/7 mekwe. Didn’t go to church for 2yrs straight.
Still one of the most formative time of my life. I was a late bloomer. So the first time I had sex in Uni, naive me went straight to my Pastor’s, so he could pray with me & ask God for forgiveness. After prayers, I went right back to her house for more sessions. Dark times.
After several rounds of “ohmyGawd” & screaming the name of Jesus in vain, I’ll fall on my knees right there asking God for forgiveness. Sometime, we’ll even holds hands & pray, never to repeat this again. As we are rising up from our knees, so was my Igwé. My faith was tested.
One time, I was indoors for 2weeks straight & only came out for food or to use the bathroom. My neighbour didn’t understand what was happening. He banged on my door after hearing manly orgasmic mkpu, shouting “Sam pls come out, before dem kill you”. Real life living in bondage.
The day I knew an angel has removed my name from the book of life was on my birthday. 12am, aunty was riding me to glory & my phone rang, picked up abruptly & it was my parents doing the customary birthday prayers. She did not stop. Tears rolled down my eyes as I was saying amen.
I told myself if I went to hell from this bed I’ll not blame Satan. We went on like that till morning, I picked up my shirt & ran out of her apartment when I saw the sun rise. It was my Joseph moment of redemption. She chased me down her flat till i jumped bike. Didn’t look back.
As I got down from the bike, I started singing with my whole heart, face & hands lifted to heaven;
🎶 “Thank God God no be man o! Cos if man be God o, I for don die o!, I for don kpeme o!” 🎵.
This was my song for weeks.
I understood empathy first hand after this & climbed down from the moral high horse I was on then. 1 Cor 10:12 “Therefore let the one who thinks he stands firm immune to temptation, being overconfident & self-righteous, take care that he does not fall into sin & condemnation”.
I used to be one of those Christians that would beat my chest proudly & say this can never happen to me while judging others when they find themselves in interesting circumstances. I humble. Now if it’s a situation I can’t relate to, I show love first before preaching any sermon.